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Advice

Tara Takes on the Biological Clock Dear Tara! I always imagined I would be a mom and do all the things my mother never did. But I've only been married a year, and my husband's made it clear that he's not in any rush to have kids. And while I don't want to jeopardize my marriage, I'm afraid if I wait much longer, it will be too late. Tara, how will I know when it's the right time to have a baby? Signed, To Bear or Not to Bear Dear Bear, Your letter drove nails of pain into my heart! How sad, I thought, yet another modern Woman estranged from the Wild, out-of-sync with Gaia, Mother Earth. You see, Bear, in olden days--before fluorescent lights and plastic-wrapped food--we Women were revered as priestesses because our bodies always knew what was what. Let me show you how it used to be: Picture a male farmer, anxious for a good harvest. Nervously, with downcast eyes, he approaches a Woman. After lying on the ground in front of her, he humbly asks, "O Great Life-Goddess! Please share your wisdom with lowly me! When should I plant my pumpkins?" And our ancient ancestress would turn around and squat down a bit and consult with her Secret Wild Place for a few minutes. Her SWP would say something like, "Tell that hick to stop planting pumpkins, I'm sick of fucking pumpkins! Tell him the spirits say it's sweet corn time. Mmm, sweet corn. We haven't had sweet corn since I don't know when ..." And thus humans lived in harmony with Nature. So you see, Bear, your body knows what's right for you--i.e. regarding the whole Mom-thing--but it's sulking right now 'cause you haven't given it the honor it deserves. Assemble some really nice trinkets or pretty flowers and leave them as offerings to your Secret Wild Place. Treat her with respect and she'll stop clamming up. Let me know how it goes, Tara Can't get enough of Miss T? Well, check out her "Most Spiritual Show Ever," where you'll find new video adventures each week, and your video horoscope! [ San Francisco | MetroActive Central | Archives ]