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Me and My Shadow

He doesn't know where he'd have gone if not to the coffee shop. To the taverns, where the drunks and floozies would claw at him? No, he has to appreciate the coffee shop, where even a living legend can peer into some brown liquid, into his soul. You do something to me Something that simply mystifies me Tell me why should it be That you've got the power to hypnotize me? "You Do Something to Me" (Porter) By Christopher Weir HE STARES AT THE cigarette between his fingers, then exhales a steady stream of white vapor. He watches the vapor twist, writhe and ultimately vanish amid the coffee shop's hot fluorescence. If only Marilyn would vanish so easily. Fat chance. Hell, he can still smell her perfume hovering through his nicotine haze. He might have seen her for the last time tonight, but she'll never really vanish. At least not from his memories. And maybe even his heart. "More coffee, sir?" He smiles and nods. The waitress refills his cup, then hurries back to the kitchen. He's a living legend. She doesn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by hanging around. For once, he wishes someone would hang around. He takes a sip, then glances at the empty booths, the empty stools. Another drag, another sip, another regret. A warm wind slams against the windows, the stale Silicon Valley air careens off El Camino Real and slithers through every joint and crevice. The early-morning hours are stacking up amid the darkness beyond, buoyed by his restlessness, encouraged by his brooding. At least there's the coffee shop. He doesn't know where he'd have gone if it weren't for the coffee shop. To the clubs, the taverns, where all the drunks and floozies would claw at him for autographs, for trysts, for provocations, for worse? No, he has to appreciate this new phenomenon, the coffee shop, this iridescent 24-hour sanctuary where even a living legend can peer into the deep night, into some brown liquid, into his soul. And, for once, in peace. He stubs out his cigarette. He wonders exactly when he lost control. When she lost control. When they lost control. The cigarette burns for another moment, then smolders. The ashtray might as well be a mirror. He is a poor Sicilian kid from San Francisco who made it big with the bat and emerged essentially unscathed from the firestorm of New York baseball, his legend not only intact, but perhaps unparalleled. His career is defined by the summer of '41, when he safely batted in 56 consecutive games, a record destined to outlast the home-run records of Ruth, the consecutive-games-played record of Iron Man Gehrig, and perhaps every other noteworthy record on the books. Fifty-six straight games ... a record like that is about more than talent. It's about composure. See, nothing bothers Joltin' Joe. Not high, hard ones hurled in the vicinity of his head. Not the taunts following contract squabbles with the Yankees. And certainly not post-divorce headlines screaming, "DiMaggio Strikes Out!" But tonight something is bothering Joltin' Joe, though he tries hard to fend it off with logic and cigarettes. Sure, to any observer his trademark composure, the bedrock of his persona, would appear intact. Within, however, he is waging a visceral battle between his image and his reality, between his mind and his heart. Between that man and a woman. Another sip, another memory. He chuckles faintly. It wasn't funny then, of course. But the years have shed their bitterness, and the embers of anger have long cooled. It happened during the filming of The Seven Year Itch, at that pivotal moment when the star--that is, his wife--stepped over a subway grate, the hot subterranean wind hiking her white skirt up to her waist. It all went according to script until one indiscreetly positioned rubbernecker hollered in a thick New York accent: "Jeez, I thought she was a real blonde!" Joltin' Joe was furious. Humiliated, too. A friend tried to console him with drinks at a local haunt, but to no avail. Finally, the friend waved a frustrated hand and muttered, "Well, what can you expect when you marry a whore?" It wasn't really the words that stung, but rather their honest resonance. The marriage soon spiraled out of control, poisoned by an increasingly volatile elixir of Hollywood gossip and irreparable incompatibility. Less than two weeks after the divorce ... yes, that was exactly when he lost control. Drunk and enraged, he threatened to kick down the door to the apartment of one of Marilyn's unsavory friends. Two of his buddies intervened, but Joltin' Joe could not be placated. Finally, one of them called Sinatra, who rushed to the apartment building with a buddy. Order wasn't necessarily restored, but the door survived. Tonight, the thought of Sinatra still boils his blood. It's the tentacles of that crooner's crowd, he believes, that are pulling her deeper and deeper into the vortex of drunken instability. Rumors persist that she is now involved with Attorney General Kennedy, and maybe even his brother. There's a thought. His wife. Screwing the president. The coffee is now cold and bitter, and the sun threatens to peek through the troubled dawn. He shouldn't have gone out last night. Then he wouldn't have run into her at the restaurant. He wouldn't have seen the pain lurking in her carefree, flirtatious, intoxicated eyes. He wouldn't have had to admit to himself that he still loves her. If he were given to premonitions, he might see himself bending over a casket later this summer, delivering one last kiss to a life extinguished but not forgotten. But he is not given to premonitions. And so vague hopes persist. He throws a few dollars down on the counter, stuffs the pack of cigarettes into his pocket. He steps out onto the pavement. The wind is still warm, yet he draws his coat tight. The Valley of Heart's Delight smells no better than before. But no worse, either. He can't wait to get back home. His footsteps echo through the lonely avenues. He pauses for a moment, looks over his shoulder at the spectral neon, at the towering sign that burns like a beacon. Through the broad windows, he can see the waitress wiping down the counter. God bless the coffee shop. It won't save Marilyn's life. But tonight, it may have saved his. A Joe DiMaggio Kind of Place Campbell Barnes and Noble 1875 S. Bascom Ave., Campbell (408/559-8101). Campbell Coffee Roasting Co. 1875 S. Bascom Ave., #112, Campbell (408/559-8040). City Espresso #1 1820-B W. Campbell Ave., Campbell (408/370-477). Orchard Valley Coffee Roasting 349 E. Campbell Ave., (408/374-2115). Cupertino Coffee Society Oaks Shopping Center, 21265 Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino (408/725-8091). Fantasia Coffee & Tea 10933 N. Wolfe Rd., Cupertino (408/865-1689). Gilroy Coffee Roasting Club 7501 Monterey Road, Gilroy (408/847-5120). First Street Coffee Exchange 1211 First St., Gilroy (408/842-1340). Fremont The Bean Cafe 34323 Fremont Blvd., Fremont (510/759-6822). Los Gatos Café Rouge 42 Elm St., Los Gatos (408/395-1599). Dolce Spazio 221 N. Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos (408/395-1335). Great Bear Coffee/Los Osos Cafe 19 N. Santa Cruz Ave., Los Gatos (408/395-8607). Los Gatos Coffee Roasting 101 W. Main St., Los Gatos (408/354-3263). Mission Valley Coffee Roasting Co. 40059 Mission Blvd., Fremont (510/440-0321) Menlo Park Café Borrone 1010 El Camino Real, Menlo Park (650/327-0830). Milpitas Borders Books, Music, and Cafe 15 Ranch Dr., Milpitas (408/934-1180). Java Garden Café 1215 E. Calaveras Blvd., Milpitas (408/262-1061). Morgan Hill Breaktime Espresso Bar 614 Tennant St., Morgan Hill (408/778-9395) Morgan Hill Coffee Roasting Monterey Road and Second Street, Morgan Hill (408/778-2586). Mountain View Bay City Coffee Roasting 632 San Antonio Rd., Mountain View (650/941-9955). Cuppa Joe 194 Castro St., Mountain View (650/967-2294). The Islands Espresso 530 Showers Dr., Mountain View (650/917-1690). Jumpin' Java Coffee House 744 W. Dana St., Mountain View (650/390-9638). Mountain View City Cyber Cafe City Center Bldg., 650 Castro St., Mountain View (650/964-3707). Red Rock Coffee Co. 201 Castro St., Mountain View (650/967-4473). Palo Alto Borders Books, Music, and Cafe 456 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/326-3670) Caffé Verona 236 Hamilton Ave., Palo Alto (650/326-9942). Printers Inc. Cafe 320 California Ave., Palo Alto (650/323-3347). Prolific Oven 550 Waverley St., Palo Alto (650/326-8485). St. Michael's Alley 806 Emerson St., Palo Alto (650/326-2530). University Coffee Cafe 217 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/322-5301). San Jose Barnes and Noble 3600 Stevens Creek Blvd., San Jose (408/984-3495). Café Docanto 7 N.. 33rd St., San Jose (408/272-2929). Cafe Leviticus 1445 The Alameda, San Jose (408/279-8877). Cafe Matisse 371 S. First St., San Jose (408/298-7788). Caffé Pastaia (in Hotel DeAnza) 233 W. Santa Clara (408/286-8686). Caffé Zucco 74 S. First St., San Jose (408/297-9777). Camera 3 Cafe 288 S. Second St., San Jose (408/998-0932). Casa Vicky 792 E. Julian St., San Jose (408/995-5488). City Espresso 632 E. Blossom Hill Rd., San Jose (408/972-4500). Coffee.com 1204 N. Capitol Ave., San Jose (408/923-4662). Coffee Cantata 702 Meridian Ave #I, San Jose (408/445-2224). Cozine Coffee Magazine 23 Post St., San Jose (408/292-8477). Espresso Amore 5965 Almaden Expwy., #O, San Jose (408/323-0423) Espresso Garden and Café 814 S. Bascom Ave., San Jose (408/298-0808). Java N Juice 519 W. Capitol Expwy., San Jose (408/265-8301). Keystone Coffee 321 S. First St., San Jose (408/292-4698). Lynn's Coffee 1657 Tully Rd., San Jose (408/259-6232). Moonrock Café 2650 Alum Rock Ave., San Jose (408/258-4514). Moulin Rouge Coffee Roasting 628 Town and Country Village, Stevens Creek and South Winchester boulevards, San Jose (408/247-4611). St. James Coffee 1683 Branham Lane, San Jose (408/978-9040) Valley Yogurt/Espresso 3276 S. White Rd., San Jose (408/270-4307). Vienna Coffee Roasting 2067 Camden Ave., San Jose (408/371-1981). Willow Glen Roasting Co. 383 Lincoln Ave., San Jose (408/297-9077). Santa Clara Cafe Aroma 3488 El Camino Real, Santa Clara (408/985-9555). City Lights Espresso 1171 Homestead Rd., Santa Clara (408/296-0415). Coffee Factory 3787 Stevens Creek Blvd., Santa Clara (408/296-7600). Mission City Coffee Roasting 2221 The Alameda, Santa Clara (408/261-2221). Saratoga Blue Rock Shoot 14523 Big Basin Way, Saratoga (408/741-5180). International Coffee Exchange 14471 Big Basin Way, Saratoga (408/741-1185). Rojoz 18562-A Prospect Rd., Saratoga (408/777-8226). Sunnyvale The Bean Scene 186 S. Murphy Ave., Sunnyvale (408/738-4523). Various Locations Peets Coffee & Tea 1330 El Paseo de Saratoga, San Jose (408/871-0907); 2035 Camden Ave, San Jose (408/371-9088); 367 State St, Los Altos (650/941-6722); 798 Blossom Hill Rd, Los Gatos (408/358-6311); 899 Santa Cruz Ave, Menlo Park (650/325-8989); 153 Homer Ave, Palo Alto (650/325-2091); 77 Town and Country Village, Palo Alto (650/328-4771). Starbucks San Jose stores: 2721 Aborn Road (408/270-1383); 1600 Saratoga Ave. (408/374-4295); Pavilion Shops, 150 S. First St. (650/293-9945); 854 Blossom Hill Road (408/224-7574); 6477 Almaden Expwy. (408/323-9511); and 1396 Lincoln Ave. (408/298-5272). Other cities: 693 Santa Cruz Ave., Menlo Park (650/323-5118); 276 University Ave., Palo Alto (650/321-8600); 1677 Hollenbeck, Sunnyvale (408/733-5762); 795 E. El Camino Real, Sunnyvale (408/749-8158); 20520-A Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino (408/973-8358); 127 Ranch Dr., Milpitas (408/934-9810); 2370 El Camino Real, Santa Clara (408/984-7174); 1696 Bascom Ave., Campbell (408/371-6703); and 251 Vineyard Town Center Way, Morgan Hill (408/779-8692). [ San Jose | Metroactive Central | Archives ]