Our mothballed thrift shop treasures

No. 1: "Shiver My Timbers"--Captain Hook, the late Fundamentalist Christian ventriloquist, was "out to shipwreck the devil" in this scripture-packed sing-along LP.

No. 2: "Criswell Predicts"--Ed Wood's favorite sham psychic predicts the END OF THE WORLD; RIOTS, RAPE AND REVELRY--plus INVISIBLE INSECTS IN INDIANA!!!

No. 3: "Kewpie Porn?"--Form meets function in the Toddler Porn Ashtray.

No. 4: "The Bathroom Dictator"--All hail the Martial Ruler, and don't forget to wash your hands.

No. 5: I Got Ta Boogie--Why vinyl is dead.

No. 6: Homo Ecch?--TV Guide meets "The Thinker."

No. 7: Pasta sauce 'n seafood singing.